On the Pursuit of Happiness. One.

I. New Beginnings.

Take a deep breath.  Breathe out. Repeat.

And again.

Try to keep focused.

Count to ten then breathe again and stay focused.

I keep telling myself this all the time these days. It’s difficult. My mind keeps drifting away from today’s reality. I am already thinking about all the changes that are ahead of me. It’s always so exciting to start something new, trust the magic of beginnings and just let it happen. In my case it’s going to be the fifth beginning. Quite impressive. I have big problems finding my place on this planet and I throw myself in different directions to check where it is said to be the best for me. East, West or maybe North or South?

I’ve been everywhere, I guess. And it’s always the same story. After any adventure in a foreign country, I keep coming back home. By home I mean my country and the city I’ve lived in the whole life. Maybe my search of a perfect place is in fact an attempt to realize that I have already gotten one. It’s funny I say this. I never liked living there. Big city, everyone in a hurry, millions of people on the streets, noise, pollution. I hated it in fact. I wanted to get out of there, I couldn’t feel happy there.

So I moved to an isolated island, the size of the biggest city was just an average small city in any other country. “I will find my peace here”, I thought. Isolation, nature, province, far from big city hustle and bustle. Perfection, it seemed. It was my conscious choice to go to that specific place. I had already been there before and I was left awe-inspired. I couldn’t stop thinking about moving in there. It was just the oasis I needed much in my life at that time.

When I look back at my life then, it is just obvious I couldn’t have made a better decision. Exhausted and disappointed without any wills to continue the life I was having, I simply escaped to the island. Don’t get me wrong. I honestly didn’t have a bad life, quite the contrary. I was having a very comfortable life in the capital with a lot of entertainment, multi-culti society, good job and money to continuously make my dreams come true, one after another. People get used to a comfort living. So did I. Not having to worry much about tomorrow, I was leading a very merry life, with a lot of travels and people filling my free time, attending various events, getting promoted at work. But there was always something missing… I realized what that “thing” was much later, there in the island…

“If I ever wanted to leave again”

If I ever wanted to leave again

Hold me tighter,

don’t you dare letting me go

again

In your arms

I found my safe ground

In your arms

there’s my comfort zone

I want to stay forever

You are the answer

to my fears and insecurities

Lost paradise I rediscovered

So if I ever wanted to leave

Hold me closer

and don’t you dare

letting me go

again.

King’s Day in Amsterdam

Today’s the King’s Day in Holland. Here’s how I celebrated it a few years back.

Stranger Than Paradise

Amsterdam’s a very vibrant city. At first glance you might get the impression that everything’s chaotic and unorganised but once you synchronise with the city’s rhythm you just can’t get enough of it. Especially when you visit it when special events take place.

Last year (finally!) I decided to visit Amsterdam during the most famous celebrations; the King’s Day. King’s Day is celebrated on 27th April, the birthday of a Dutch king and it only started last year since before Netherlands were ruled by a queen and all the celebrations were held on 30th April.

It’s one of those things marked as “mandatory” on your bucket list. So was it on mine. I went there totally alone but I couldn’t feel alone not even for a minute. 🙂 Of course thanks to my favourite CouchSurfing community. I managed to find a group of people, travellers as well as locals, who wanted…

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Let the sunshine in!

It’s almost May and I can count the sunny days on fingers of only one hand. The weather is not very willing to treat us with warm air and sunny skies. That is why, when I saw the sun today, it made me really happy. I like the sunshine. A lot…

Funny I say this, it brought to my mind the time when I lived in Iceland.

I guess everyone knows the stories about Icelandic unpredictable weather, long dark days in winters and persisting wind and rain. I can do nothing but prove them right. The weather conditions were pretty harsh, however, surprisingly they would make the life much simpler for me. Every morning when I’d get up, the only thing that mattered to me was the answer to just only one question “Is it raining???” (and most of the time the answer was positive, sigh…). The view of clear blue sky and intensive sunbeams would always give me a lot of positive energy and a really good mood. My life was so simple, and so happy.

So when I was sipping my coffee today (looking at the sunny sky), I started to think about my comeback to Poland. Once I moved back to Warsaw all the bad habits reappeared. I started complicating things around me and, what was even worse, stopped noticing little things that used to bring smile to my face. At some point, however, I felt so unhappy that I promised myself to bring back the joy into my life.

Keep the life simple. Focus on small things. It’s where magic happens.

Plus, everyone needs sunshine in their lives.

Oh, hi again. I missed you.

I’ve been rewriting this post several times now. I really don’t know how or what should I say here. Maybe I ought to just keep it simple, then?

I’m back with my first child, Stranger Than Paradise. My favorite one.

For the past two years I devoted myself to my second blog that served as a therapy for me to finally get over my past and cut the string that was holding me back. It worked well so I don’t see any reason to keep it. I’m back here, though.

Seems like I can’t live without a blog.

I went through my old posts and I didn’t realize they were so good. I put so much heart and effort into them. So many hours spent to fine tune them.

Sometimes it’s good to be back to the old, isn’t it?

Stay tuned.

//photo: scene from Stranger Than Paradise by J. Jarmusch//